Help..?

My dad will never accept me. I know that. The real question though is if I can accept myself. I know it’s wrong and I’m aware it’s wrong, but no matter how many times I pray or read his word the temptation never goes away. I think all my life I’ve been testing my parents “unconditional love”. Trying to see if it could ever break. Although I have never found mom’s breaking point, someone who has listened to me and loved me. I found my dad’s. And that’s being anything but straight. He says we’ve had talks like this before and “doesn’t want to go back down that road again.” I think I’ll feel better if I talk about it with mom. I feel so judged by everything else. M****. Mamaw. Dad. Everyone. I need mom who will just listen to me and not preach scripture at me. Every sin is the same in gods eyes and unfortunately the devil is targeting where I’m weakest. Love. I like this girl. I know I like her. I also know that it can never be, my dad will never accept it, he doesn't even know about my last ex girlfriend. How we dated atleast. I’m so confused. Gods love is so good. So beautiful. I can’t risk it all by loving another woman.. can I? Would he still love me? I can’t love god while actively sinning. I have a missing rib and it’s not a woman. The funny thing is that everyone tells me it’s wrong but never gives me anyway to fix it. I grew up in church and although there are some things I can still learn.. I know the Bible relatively well. I have read and prayed and still nothing has come of it. This is a sin that can’t even be talked about in fear of being targeted by both sides. The extreme left and the extreme right. “You shouldn’t have those feelings in the first place!” And “it’s not wrong to love who you want to love! Are you saying we arnt valid?!” It’s not only a constant battle with myself but others. (Clearly). I wanna talk to mom. I should talk to mom. I feel so gross. So disgusting. Gods love is so suppossed to be so powerful and yet I feel.. nothing. I love god. I want to see heaven and trust his ways and judgement. But I still have the problems of succumbing to my flesh.. I don’t know what to do. But it’s hurting me In so many ways.