Need Advice

My boyfriend is leaving next month for six months for work. It was sudden - he told me in July. He decided to go on vacation in a place with limited cell service, so we didn't really get to talk for almost two weeks. He came back, I saw him for a day, and then his friends' mom was killed in a car accident. I feel terrible for them, and for him. He dropped everything to go to them, understandably. We were supposed to take my daughter to college to start her first year tomorrow. My son really wanted to go, so their dad offered. I told this to my boyfriend who was "aggravated" that he put off all his plans (didn't know he had any) to do this. But he was "happy" now that he didn't have to go (I'm sure he was happy not to have to go - but also managed to be mad at me for changing the plan so my son could go). So now he can go back to his friends' for a few days and then go to their mom's service. His birthday is also tomorrow, and he's like, "Great, now I'm taking that day back for me." I'm not sure if this is making any sense, but I'm way down below his pets as far as priorities at this point. It does make me feel super selfish, but also like he could try to understand where I'm coming from. He didn't bother to see me most of this month, and he's leaving next. I pointed this out, and he's like "We're fine, babe. What are you talking about?" Am I being weird or overreacting? I know it's a horrible time. But the way he talked to me about it. Like I was the asshole for canceling the plan even though it worked out better for him. And then him acting like he didn't even care (and he really doesn't) about not seeing him on his birthday - while he'll miss mine, Thanksgiving, Christmas, our anniversary, and everything else for at least six months. Please help. Tell me I'm selfish. I am so anxious about this whole situation.