To speak or not to speak, that is the question.

I live with my brother and my mom. We live in a little three bedroom trailer. My nephew has a room, my kids have a room, my mom has a room. I sleep on the living room couch and my brother sleeps in a camper outside. My mom and my brother are recluses. They don’t go out, they don’t have friends, and they don’t associate with people. They do when they are at work or out to the store, but they don’t invite people over and don’t go anywhere. They are sociable introverts. My kids and I are from the city. We are sociable. Not to the point where we run around all day seeing people or visiting them or having them over. My kids do more of that because they are kids (3,9,13). My mom didn’t raise me so our relationship has been purely since I have been an adult with my own kids. She is very rough around the edges. She sits in her room and doesn’t come out. Ever. Unless we have other family visiting, but even that is few and far between. We have no real relationship. I’ve been going through some really rough stuff lately and am very overwhelmed. I could use my moms comfort, advice and presence but I can’t go sit in her room all day. I have kids to tend to and can’t go to her. She won’t make an effort to come to me. She always has a nasty attitude, doesn’t say good morning but asks if coffee is made, doesn’t ask how my day went but bitches about hers, and it gets frustrating. Today we got into it because she asked if my son was eating his lunch in the living room. Usually the kids don’t eat anywhere but at the table but this weekend him and I have been the only ones eating together, because everybody else eats in their rooms, so I’ve been allowing him. I told her yes, because he’s the only one eating with me so it’s not a big deal. This is hers and my brothers house. We moved out of a bad situation to get on our feet. So we realistically don’t have a say in what the rules are. I follow them to the best of my ability but 9/10 it feels like a prison to my kids and I. So my mom huff and puffs, walks out the door, and says bye and I love you to my brother. So it instantly irritated me. I said thanks a lot mom. All hell broke loose. Any time we fight she always acts like a child. She doesn’t take any accountability, yells, and walks off. Then she calls me later and apologizes, we kind of make up, and then she hangs up. She butt dials me back, I answer and I hear her saying “I have to call and apologize so I can go home to MY house.” Like me voicing my opinions is making her walk on egg shells. I text her and say Thanks. Sorry I’m a burden to you. You don’t need to worry about coming home because I’ll just leave you alone. My feelings were fucking hurt. She’s two faced. She has something negative to say about everything, is never happy, and is always blaming everybody else. I stay out of the way most of the time because I don’t deal well with that shit. When I do say something, suddenly I’m causing drama and making it uncomfortable for everybody else. Every single time. So is it better to keep my mouth shut and bottle up my feelings or to speak the truth and suffer the consequences?