A Daughter’s Reflection

Today, I saw my sister-in-law taking care of her daughter and it made me reminisce about my relationship with my mother during my childhood and teenage years. Although we don’t have the closest bond and may have shouted at each other a lot (and perhaps still do), whenever I was in pain, even from something as simple as leg cramps during my growing years, I would cry out loud, and she would skip her sleep to massage my leg, only to wake up early at 4 a.m. again. She never complained about how I disrupted her sleep or how she wasn’t in a condition to take care of me, especially when she was hurting herself, whether emotionally or from her migraines.

I’ve often complained to her about things that, in hindsight, were not important enough to even mention, yet she always catered to my emotions, sleeplessly trying to solve problems that, in reality, didn’t even exist. She would yell at me for not having a stable career, but then secretly ask a pandit to check my kundali for guidance.

It made me realize that I might not be fit to be a mother because I can’t see myself selflessly loving someone and neglecting my own needs like she does. Maybe I wouldn’t care about my children’s complaints and drama the way my mother does. Perhaps I’m not cut out to be a mother.

But the question remains: Am I fit to be her daughter?