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i dont hate saying it and im not above saying it. i admit it wholly because its the truth
i miss you
i miss your eyes, i miss your smile, i miss your crooked teeth, i miss your stupid jokes, i miss your laugh
i still see you here and there, ive never had the guts to look you in the face again. not after what happened to us
not after what you did to me, not after what i did to you
hell, i dont even know what i did to you. you never told me, you put the blame on yourself and now im left to wanting to resent you but i cant
i love you
you already know that, and you still couldnt talk to me. you know and you knew that i love you, yet you never tried to reach out to me
you made me chase you
and i wanted to chase you till forever. i wanted to chase you, i wanted to be yours, even if you didnt want me
for 2 months, you made me chase. for 2 months, you werent the one to initiate anything with me. for 2 months, you sent me on a journey in which all id gain was solitude
for 2 months, i was forced to slowly drift away from you and come to a realization that you knew this would happen. you knew wed drift apart, you knew id end things with you, you knew you made me hopelessly in love with you and made me the one to end what we had
more than friends, less than lovers. the almost aspect of that is what hurts the most. we almost made it. we were almost lovers. you were almost mine. i was almost yours
almost
i remember when i first told my closest friends that we were somewhat of an item. i mentioned we werent dating, i mentioned we were more than friends
they told me they were happy for me and they saw me and you as a good pairing. i was happy to hear it, it gave me hope
i was happy. late nights spent with you on call, talking and laughing. i was the happiest id ever been. my confidence was through the roof, i had so much and i had you
after i broke things off, i tried to pretend that i wasnt affected. i didnt want you to see me weak; you lost the privilege. i still dont want you to see me weak, but do i wish to see you
do i wish to laugh with you, do i wish to read you poetry about you once again, do i ever wish to see you smile at me and because of me
i told those same close friends when we werent even friends anymore. they told me they knew things wouldnt work, that i pursued you too quickly, that they didnt like you as a person, that we wouldnt last long
they were right
i just wish they told me the truth instead of feeding me lies of false hope
i feel betrayed. they know what type of person they am, they know me, they know how i act, how i communicate
they know that i would have listened
i wish i could talk to you again, i wish we never got romantically involved, i wish i could still talk your ear off like how we used to
i wish i was allowed to love you again
i miss you
i love you
i hope you heal before i do
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glad iām not mixed in with someone who takes advice from so-called friends. good for them for escaping what would have only been hurt brought on by a bunch of assholes.
Replyi understand. it will be okay in time. there is value to be found in the present as well as the past.
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