Nothingness

As I search the vast horizon of my life looking for "a light" or maybe an exit. I sit and ask myself what do I want out of life? Like a scream from the back of my mind I hear "an end, nothing more" I shutter as that familiar thought sinks in. In a brief moment everything around me is sucked of color leaving me with an empty gray, and a cold chill. I stand searching for something to alter my perception alcohol, drug, smokes, just anything to escape this cold gray place shrinking around me. I walk over to grab the 5th of jack on the counter from the night before, I drink what's left as it embraces me with emptiness. I walk out side for a smoke tripping over the doorway I am caught by a nail, as I pull my self up I look and see red gushing from my arm. I think to myself wouldn't it be pretty to paint myself in this beautiful hue as apposed to this cold gray.....