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i had a dream about myself three months ago. i woke up in a daylight bleached studio apartment. outskirts of paris, where the market is fresh but the people are fresher. i went downstairs to buy some grapes. my sister was there. My sister was there. she smiled at me and i spoke excitedly. and i stirred in my sleep but i jumped out and held on the border folds of the dream to stay in it a bit longer. and then i was with you. but the version of you that could hold my hand, and u pushed my hair back behind my ear. but i couldn’t recall, even in my wildest dreams, what your touch felt like. was your skin soft like when we were seventeen? have your fingers thinned out since then? i don’t remember if you ran hot or cold, so instead your hand melted through my hair and cheeks. and your eyes lose sight of mine. then you walk right through me. and i am gone.
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