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i'm always so sad all the time and it's for so many different reasons
sometimes i'm fine, but then one bad little thing happens to me and i explode
i cry and i feel like the world is too heavy and i can't breathe
i feel so alone
people keep leaving me
they say they'll be there but then they change and go away like the leaves in autumn
i don't know what to do, who to turn to, why i'm feeling this way
my mom says that i deserve better, that i'm amazing, that i need to be nicer to myself
but of course she says that, she has to say that, it's her job
i have no close friends
my life is so routine and dull
i get up every morning and drown in a cloudy cup of coffee
i float through school
i go home and i do my homework
i eat my dinner, i take a scalding shower, and i crawl into bed and try to sleep
sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and stay up for hours, wondering what's wrong with me
i try to pray, try to have faith in the process, faith in God
but it's so hard
it shouldn't be this hard
i'm sixteen and i feel like a lost cause
what do i do?
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