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I was doing okay; I was doing better than okay. I was reading my bible every day, praying and singing to God three to four times a day, going to the gym and running almost every single day. And then I got that email, and everything paused, I was in a constant state of self-sabotage, and I allowed it. I was put in a mental state where I had to wait for the decision so anxiously that I just could not figure out how to get back to normal. I lost all contact with what my goals are in life. Being in that kind of mental state ruined me as a person. I always made sure to keep myself in check, but alas, it was like all the things I had convinced myself not to do had been unleashed into a mad heap of negative thoughts. See, the problem is that I am a person who absolutely, ferociously hates asking for help, and it doesn't help that I have what is called a type-A personality. I like having my order, routine, organization, and time figured out. And not knowing what would come next put me in a total mind alteration process.
I have let myself go I don't go to the gym anymore, I overeat, I don't care about how I look when I leave the house, and I don't read my bible or sing praises to God anymore it's like I have lost my morals, I swear now, and I don't talk to people who I used to before which is something I should have done a long time ago. My bulimia nervosa is back and now I don't even know how to go back to being normal. It's all been resolved I have gotten back my decision and it was positive but I cant seem to go back to normal and I don't know what to do I keep forcing myself to go back to normal but I can't seem to find what normal is.
Any suggestions are welcome.
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I'm about to go to church in a bit over an hour. Do you go to church? You should try to at least go, even if you don't know anyone.
Was the email about college?
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