To everyone who knows me

I just wanted to say that I feel more alone than I have ever been in my life. I have all of you around, but I feel so alone. You have other people to care about but, am I one of those people? I believe the answer to be no. If I don’t text anyone first, I’d never get a message back. I am sure if I ghosted everyone, I wouldn’t be remembered at all. I see everyone post online with their friends but I’ll never be a part of something like that. Seeing my friends drift away from me hurts and there isn’t anything I can do about it. I can’t force it upon y’all to care for me. It has to come deep within. None of you will read this which brings me some comfort but at the same time, it pains me.

I have had moments where I’ve thought about hurting myself and doing more, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t think I ever will out of fear and shame.

I have nobody. I can only say I have my family which I know I do and I’m grateful for them but even these feelings I can’t share.

Sincerely,

Me.