I Think I'm A Gay Man - Pt. 7

Okay, buckle up, tonight was a rollercoaster. (I AM SCREAMING INSIDE.) As you might know from reading my other journals, today was the 100th Year Birthday Bash, or the dance for the birthday party of our school. I put on a dress shirt and some not-ripped pants and walked to the school. I got there, and immediately looked for Jonah, Declan, Adrian, and Khai. Jonah was putting some of his raffle tickets into a bucket for a jumbo candy drawing, and my other friends were in the corner drinking pop and talking. Almost right after I walked in, the lights turned off, and I heard my principal say, "The birthday bash has started! Have fun high schoolers!" Or something like that.

We were in the huge gymnasium, and in the front there was a DJ (Who was actually just a teacher with Spotify hooked up to the big speakers). Bright disco lights flashed and danced around the walls and tall ceiling.

Loud music started playing, and everyone migrated towards the DJ and lights to dance and jump.

Declan put his arm around my shoulder and said, "It smells in here. Want to go dance obnoxiously in front of everyone with the boys?" Adrian and Khai grinned, ready to run in the middle of the crowd of people dancing. I glanced back at Jonah, who was silently rocking on his heels in the corner. I waved for him to come over, and he ran up to us. He looked concerned at the crowd. "You look good. But I hate high schoolers." he laughed over the base-boosted music. Me, Declan, Khai, Adrian, and Jonah ran in front of the crowd of our peers and began dancing with each other. I spun Jonah around, Khai dipped Adrian, and Declan jumped up and down with us. It was really fun.

I could almost hear Noah cackling, but I tuned it out for this moment. I was with my best friends. And I wasn't confused. I was happy.

We all jumped around among the crowd for a little bit, and then we all agreed to go to the snack bar in the corner of the gym. In reality, it was the boys locker room, but the school had turned it into a concessions stand for the birthday bash. We all bought chocolate and sat on a bench, watching everyone in front of us dance to upbeat pumping music. All of a sudden, I saw a group of girls giggling and pacing around near us. Khai leaned to me, "Uh oh. It's McKenzie and her goons." They all giggled and pushed McKenzie towards me. Me and the boys just sat and stared awkwardly, candy half-stuffed in our mouths.

McKenzie looked at me weirdly and then said, "Hey, *my name*, do you... Think we could go out together sometime? You're really cool, and look really good." Jonah reached out and squeezed my arm. I said without emotion, "I'm gay." She looked surprised and quickly walked away. I heard her friends asking, "WHAT DID HE SAY? DID HE SAY YES?"

Khai and Adrian looked at me with confusion. I nodded my head. "Sorry this is how I have to tell you. Yes, I'm gay. I like men and men only. Sorry." Khai slapped my back, "Why should you be sorry? I love you, bro. McKenzie ruins everything." Adrian said from down the bench, "What he said. You're good." I felt like happy crying, I am keeping the most important people in my life.

Jonah whispered in my ear, "Good job, man. You're awesome." I said to Jonah, "I'm not letting her hurt you like she used to. Ever again." Jonah smiled up at me. I heard the principal over the speaker, "And the winner of the gift basket raffle, KHAI X.!" Everyone celebrated and we all jumped up and ran with Khai to the raffle table. We high-fived and congratulated Khai. Noah, followed by Justin and their stupid little posse walked up to us. "*my name* Is it true that you're GAY?" I mumbled, "Yeah..." Noah said, "Hahaha! I bet you have a crush on me! Don't let him go to the Washington field trip in your room fellas!!! Guess you wanted to fit in with your other GAY friends! What a faggot!" The entire group said. I ran into the hallway, with Jonah following me.

I heard yelling of my friends from the gym. I went into the quiet hallway and sat on the cold wood floor. I wanted to hurt Noah and Jason, and all of their stupid homophobic friends. The only thing I could hear was the thumping of the music from the gym as I sat in the completely empty hallway. Jonah came directly after me, and sat next to me on the floor.

I saw Jonah angry for the first time as he said, "They're so stupid. That made my blood boil. What's wrong with liking boys?" I stared at the ceiling, "I just- I have no idea. They used to be my friends. Because I thought they were FUNNY. Now I'm sorry that I just stood back while watching kids like me getting bullied. What a bunch of dumbasses." Jonah nodded, "But I'm glad I met you." I felt his pinky touch mine. I whispered, "Me too." I looked at his face. That feeling? Of getting closer to him 'as a friend'? That was a crush. I felt my heart skip a beat as he leaned in to kiss me.

We both looked at each other after pulling away from the short kiss. We just smiled. Now we were fully holding hands.

We heard the principal say over the loud speaker, "A FIGHT HAS BROKEN OUT IN THE GYMNASIUM. THE BIRTHDAY BASH IS OFFICIALLY OVER. ALL AVAILABLE STAFF IN THE GYMNASIUM PLEASE ESCORT STUDENTS TO THEIR CARS." Me and Jonah quickly unlocked our hands and ran into the gym to see what was going on. The only image I saw was Declan having Noah on the ground, and being on top of him. 3 teachers were trying to pull a bunch of boys off of each other. My homeroom teacher said, "Please be dismissed, boys. Your cars are by the main office doors." We both turned around and didn't talk on the walk to our cars.

When I got in the car, my mom asked, "So, how did it go?" I responded "It was fine. Kind of boring."

Like I didn't just come out to my friends, reject McKenzie, tell the entire school I'm gay, get my best friends in a fight with our teammates, and kiss Jonah. AND I KISSED MY FIRST BOY.