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I've been dating my girlfriend for a year and a half. We've always had an issue where I don't like her talking to her exes. After about a year she said she hated the restriction and would rather break up. So I told her it was fine to text her exes because at this point I trusted her. So we are on a cruise celebrating her birthday and were sitting down and she's texting and I asked who was she talking to because she wasn't paying attention to me. She lied and said it was someone else and so I asked again knowing she was lying. She finally told me she was texting her ex girlfriend, after I asked like 10 times. I tried explaining how disrespectful it is to text her ex while we're trying to celebrate a special ocassion and all she says is she doesn't see it that way because her ex girlfriend is her friend.
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I think the issue is that she felt the need to lie to you about who she was texting. Also, given that the special occasion was her birthday, well, I think she has the right to text her friends on her birthday, don't you? Just because it's someone's birthday doesn't mean they have to restrict themselves to talking to ONLY their romantic/sexual partner. In fact, that's ridiculous.Communication is important in relationships. Don't get angry, don't fling pointless accusations. Trust her. Trust that she's doing the right thing by you unless you have evidence that she's not. Your feelings are still valid, though. Bring them up in a non-confrontational way. Express to her how you're feeling.I don't know what to say to help, I'm sorry. I hope things work out.
ReplyThe entire issue was mostly her lying to me. She knows I hate when people lie to me. The issue I have with this particular ex is that when we started dating this girl would come over to my gfs house and they would hang out but my gf didn't tell me that she was her ex until one day a mutual friend told me and I asked my gf and she said she didn't think I would want to know. Then I said it wasn't cool not to tell me that because at the time she didn't like me being around my ex boyfriends. Later on we made a deal where we would avoid our exes since neither of us liked that. I found out she was still talking to this particular ex. Then we agreed to talk to them on our own time. Yet yesterday after the entire birthday celebration, we talked it out I just told her to me it's disrespectful because when she was having a birthday dinner with her dad she told me she couldn't text because she was celebrating and it was rude. Yet when she was with me it was fine to text. We worked it out. About two hours later. My friend let me know that she found out my gf was texting her ex complaining about me. After this I got mad so I asked my friend to let me know exactly what she was talking about and apparently my gfs ex always talks shit about me to my gf and she never defends me. I confronted my ex and she said it was true. But that she doesn't defend me but she also doesn't agree with herex and just makes no remarks about it.
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