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I am a father of 4, I work full time and for the most part I have a decent life but it is bound and squeezed so tight that I do not have time to live. My x is a social media influencer and for the past 5 years has made every move she can to publicly insult, lie, make herself a victim, slander my wife and I, contact my friends, and so fourth to make our lives so hard. I've lost friends that she has talked to and they didn't even ask me if what was said was true or not, these are friends that I've known for over 20 years that just blocked me on all social media and then posted horrid things about either my wife or I. I have not once posted publicly negative things about my x or have I ever told the story of what happened or the truth behind the lies that have been told, I have always tried to be better then that and try to let things go no matter how hard it is or how childish people are acting. The worst parts of everything going on in my life right now is knowing that I as a man am expected to just continue to let this abuse happen, I have to suck it up and even if I tell someone they are more likely to laugh or not even believe me. It is easier to believe a crying woman playing a victim then a man trying to tell the truth. I am very broken inside and I am stuck with so many feelings, one of my only releases of stress is playing video games, I can be someone else, be somewhere else when I am playing. I don't have alot of time to play these games and now out of all the things already going on.. platforms like steam are saying that I don't even own the games that I've bought anymore and they can take them away at any time when the license expires. I am technically only renting the game until the license expires. I am broken and I constantly fumble with suicide on my mind, I would never do it because I have 4 kids to raise... but that makes it hurt so much more. I want to do it but I can't bring myself to hurt the people I love, my kids, my wife. If my kids and wife were wiped away in an accident I know I would follow them.... as for right now... if they take away my videogames I just might die on the inside.. but of course... I'll have to brand that fake smile, that "I'm ok, I'm fine" attitude.
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It's just a bad phase not bad life.
Don't give up.
Have faith.
God bless you 🙏
ReplyGenuinely, just thank you for reading.
ReplyI have a male friend at work who is also divorced with kids. He works so hard to make sure that his girls and even his ex have pretty much anything they want....to the point that they are taking advantage of him. He's the kind of guy that would give the shirt off his back for the people he cares about. All his co-workers see that and do what we can to keep his spirits up when things get hard. As his kids have gotten older, things have finally become a little easier for him.
My point is, just keep being who you are. The people that are around you, the people that truly matter (your wife and kids and friends)- they see you and they are cheering you on. As far as blowing off steam, some of those gaming platforms do have free games you can play too. Might not be exactly what you want but worth a shot.
I hope things get better.
ReplyI don’t want you to die
I can’t help you, but coming from someone who is suicidal themself, I know I can’t, but I really don’t want you to die. Your kids love you, I know, even if they don’t show it.
Reply