My Unsent Letter

I hate that feeling, when I feel like a little girl got lost away from her father .. feel like I'm a lost girl living alone without a backbone in this whole world

I hate when I miss you and miss your support that I never had. You made me feel that I was worth everything you made me feel, but now that you have left me behind, I feel nothing about those past feelings.

IDK why I feel that ur responsible for me and my feelings, maybe my dad is the reason for this, but what I know rn that I need u, actually not you but ur support, and when u listen to me without boring at my stupid stories.

You were very kind to me really miss ur words.

when you love me although I'd tried many times to make u hate me because I'm afraid of love, I fear that u hurt me one day and leave me alone after I attached to u like a little girl looking up to her father, u achieved my fears, u have destroyed my borders that I put to not fall in love with u, u destroyed it and make me love u, u promised me that you will not leave me or hurt me, u promised me that I will be with u forever, u said that u will even though it's hard.

I was knew that you wouldn't be able to achieve ur promises but inside me, I loved that lie and I wanted to believe in it.

I was happy when I was listening to these lies even if they were not lies and were the truth but I knew that they were hard to be the truth because of many reasons that related to me.

yes, I am the reason why u moved away from me I asked him to go away from me but inside me, I want him beside me all my life, I asked u that because I fear attaching to u and being hurt.

Of course, he thought that I hated him and did not love him anymore but my fears were the reason for our parting.

Or in another way, my dad was the reason.