What makes you feel less confident?

School. I feel less confident in public spaces - especially with people my age around - but I'm even less confident and more self conscious at school. I hate school. I'm always scared I'm doing something wrong, whether it be with my hair or the direction I'm walking in. I'm scared what others think of me, they all have friends, they all have good grades, they all have that gleam in their eyes. My gleam is the tears threatening to stream down my face. I'm embarrassed, by everything I do, even if it's something another person did. Everyone is always staring at me. At least that's what it feels like. I don't really understand why. I was such an outgoing kid, at least that's what my Mom says. But I always remember acting this way. I always remember thinking if I had something in my teeth, or if my hair went oily or if people can see I didn't shave even though I'm wearing long sleeves. I can't stop it. I can't get out of my head. I want to though. It's like hell here, it's fast and full of dread my own self is drowning in a pool of my mind and I can't. Stop. It. I have never been able to stop it. Things only make it go away temporarily. It always comes back. Crashing like waves when the sea and a storm meet. So what makes me feel less confident? Maybe it really is School and public settings, or maybe it's me. The person the world wants me to be. The perfect fit, an outcast who doesn't have a chance at making a difference. Because that's what they want. There is no difference to be made, not when the world is already gone and everyone has already drowned in their own mind. It's already happened. The people just don't know yet.