School years

Im somewhere between the ages of 13 - 25. I like to just tell some of the more important things of this life. I do not want to share that much info on here. Who knows. Someone I once knew might be on here. Idk

Preschool - This year. Is the most I like to think back to. I was always playing with myself. My earlies memories. Is where my teacher set up this little thing. Where it was a necklace and whatever was written on that necklace, you could play with it. I always loved picking the water, splashing it and playing with the sand at the bottom and the little toys but I always played alone- or that's how I saw it now?

I remember I was always quiet during school and once I got home it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, I could do my homework by myself. I could play with games. I had my mom to take care of me. My mother would get calls from the school asking about why I was so quiet and if anything was going on at home. My mom would just chuckle and tell them I'm just a normal kid once I get home.

Elementary - This was when I started to notice things change in this life. I wanted friends. I wanted people to hang around me. I saw how big I was. I just saw everything in full view. I had to force people to hang out with me. It never lasted for long. As I would always leave them before I did more worser things to them. That stuck with me even to this day. I would leave people first just so they wouldn't get hurt by me.

Middle - I don't remember much of the days here; it was just that same repeat every day. I got into somethings a bit more though. Violin, I loved it so much that I even bought my personal violin. I have 2 right now, but I thought I found something I can do with this life but my grades. Were just so. low and failing almost every class. I gave up.

Highschool - This was the worse. I was so....Scary. Even I'm scared of myself tbh- and not as people on social media. No, it was nothing like that. I reminded of myself as someone who was meant to be behind everyone else. Someone who would break down and punch the first person who spoke to me right in my face. I never did though. I was scared of cops and teachers or people in general!

Now when I'm writing this - I feel as if these years of this life. Has just been nothing but a full view. An open window that I can never close. It was like I saw everything about people and myself. It ruined this life. It ruined what I had made for myself but it what I can only see. Life can't be easy. Nor can it be hard. I'm not sure what I'm even speaking about..

I just know. That I was bullied hard during all of my school life. I wish it would just stop. People would bang on my stall when I was in there. Straight out a movie tbh- but I never did anything lol!