The perfect man does not exist..

my experience...

I never finished my story…the man that broke my heart into 1000 pieces.. It was 3 months ago. I decided to write on this website. And it helped me. I was basically with him for a year. We were never officially titled as boyfriend or girlfriend. But we weren’t seeing anyone else. well So I thought… I received a message.. a message that I will never forget. This man I was in love with. The message was from his GIRLFRIEND telling me that she has his phone. She reached out to me. I had no idea about her up until this point. I was shocked. My heart dropped into my stomach. I was sick. I had no idea this was going on.. She called me the next day and told me everything.. Told me that they have been together for 5 years.. I felt so stupid that I did not realise earlier.

I also thought that maybe if he had left her there could be a possible chance we could work it out because maybe he wasn’t happy… she told me that I was not the only girl he had been seeing behind our backs. There were plenty of them. He created relationships with multiple girls.. He was living many lives. Pretending to be someone that he wasn’t. One whole year with this guy. And there was no explanation or no apology. He didn’t even bother to call me to justify his pathetic actions. I spoke to his girlfriend for a whole week about everything he used to say to us… he said to the both of us. His words did not mean nothing to me after knowing that he said the same thing to all us girls. He got what he wanted from us. I knew from that day, that he was definitely a psychopath and narcissistic. I knew that I did not mean anything to him. But I was just another girl satisfying his needs. That he played me. He played the game so well that he got away with it all. He lied and cheated just to get what he wanted from us.

I was left alone and lost. Confused on my next step. I was left empty. But I’m here to tell you now that it taught me a lesson. It was a learning curve in my life. I tried to take it as a positive. That everything happens for a reason and I so happened to fall in love with a guy that didn’t even know who he was. I knew that he was selfish. He only wanted to please himself without thinking of the repercussions it had on all of us. I did not want to be with someone like that. He portrayed himself as the perfect man.. But he was only a boy not a man. He was the most insecure out of us all.. He lied to me about his age and nationality, amongst all other things. I’m unsure why. But the truth is, it doesn’t matter now. He’s nothing to me now. The memories we had shared together have slowly faded. He was just a bad memory that I have forgotten. I only feel sorry for him because he could of had everything but lost it all due to his selfish needs. Its his loss, not mine.

I have come so far and im proud of myself. I thought that I would never get over my first heartache. But I did. It made me find who I am more than ever. It made me realised that I’m stronger that I thought. He disgusts me. But I have decided to forgive him without the apology I wanted. He’s a coward and he was unable to own up to his mistakes. im not searching for a man at the moment, because he will come when I least expect it. As for now, I’m enjoying being single. I won’t waste my time on people that just want to hurt me in the end. i just want you all to know, that when you go through a heart break, everything will be okay.. give yourself as much time as you need. Process your emotions. know your self worth and do not lower your standard because you think you want to be with this one person that really does not have anything to offer. theyre not worth it. try to move on and enjoy what life has to offer. one day you will wake up and you will not think of him/her.

Were all looking for the perfect man or woman… but the truth is, they don’t exist.