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In my head. Sometimes it feels like I'm trapped with my own head. Like I am sitting down a small room, trapped, and this small room resides within. The body moves and sometimes does as I will, but overall the body doesn't respond when I call out to him. He moves only slightly to my pleas, as if to oblige in hesitation or confusion, and there are no clear signs for this disconnect. It gets harder to feel like I'm not a brain then body, to feel as though I am brain AND body.
I'm writing this because it has become clear that I will never achieve or get what I desire most. All my wants will be hollowed with the passing of time as I drag my body through each dull day. It has been somewhat satisfactory getting to see my acquaintances fail too. They spoke of heightened dreams that lavished them with fame and fortune. We are all poor now. Well, most of us, anyways...
Why does no one love the lack of voices as much as I do? I like the quiet times. Wish they felt that way. Instead, they continue to play music, even in bad taste, or talk despite draining any enjoyment out of shared experience. I never feel at peace with myself, even less so on the loud days.
They all relentlessly live their lives and render my own beaten senseless. I am technically wealthy for the world, not so much for my town, so I've tried to come up with schemes or plans that could ease the demand. Nothing is helping though. Nothing will.
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if ur making a plan....make a plan that is detailed to each day's quatar...with stats... and followups...dreams are nothing but illusions of u dont act on itas for the silence...it just means u like asking ur brain questions...again.. and again...they dont want to
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