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I have to lose weight.
7 years ago · 1
732
I remember the last time I lost weight. I remember what got me started. Ana went with me to the drum corps show, and as I walked to the Georgia Dome with her, I felt things in my body that I didn't like. When I weighed in I was at 390 pounds. It was hell losing it, but after two years hard work I reached 270. I felt amazing.
Then our life went to hell so very quickly. The things you said and did....they broke me. So I ate. And I drank. And now, just four years later I'm over 400 pounds.
And I have to lose weight. I have to. But I'm alone now. I've lost my motivation. I don't really care if I live. That's the real problem. I feel like such an incredible failure. Deep down I know I bring the world more good than bad. I know I help people. But I can't seem to help myself. I bring laughter to so many, but inside I'm miserable. I identify with Robin Williams more and more each day. But I'm too damn stubborn to end it all.
Peeps of Novni, if you pray, please pray for me. If you don't pray, I would appreciate positive thoughts. Any energy you can send my way. I send it your way any time I read your struggles.
Peace.
(Please don't reply with weight loss advice. I know what I need to do. I just need to do it. You'd be surprised how much fat people know about nutrition. Knowledge isn't the problem. I know your suggestions would be well meant. I need a shoulder, not a coach, right now)
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I wish you all the best. I'm familiar with your struggle (240 to 180)
Though your road is longer, there are similarities.Go kill it.
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