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I have to say it is the saddest thing is to know that you allow the smallest things to blind you to how much I love you. The love I have for you is unbelievable. I know that I am not perfect but, I did try to do things as best as I could for you. If I didn't know how to I would still try to rise to the challenge. I cannot be held responsible if you used my mistakes to block us from our own relationship then I am unable to help you. It's not like you are perfect either. The only difference is that my actions were not against you, however your actions you did take were against me. I was always open to your love and willing to look past the things that were done to me because at the end of the day my love was really strong for you. I gave up my house to be with you. I think I could have given my life up for you and it still wouldn't be an action strong enough to show you how much I love you. You are the only person that has come that close to me and the only person that got to know me the best. I lost out on our love, my best friend, your family, and our furry son. I have been wanting an trying to move and somehow I am stuck. The chances of you ever reaching out to me in order to sort things out will probably never happen. We also both know that I am unable to reach out to you. So be it, this is life. We can't always get what we want. If you think that it is sufficient punishment that we never get to share anything again, that is fine. I will find a way to get better and move on, but we both shared in our great moments and in our losses. Maybe you don't know it or see it now but, we fit together really well and it is not something that can easily be found. If you continue to put up defences that hold us back then I don't know what else to say or do to show you. Believe me I tried hard when I was with you and it was not easy. This will probably be one of the last posts that I ever write for you. I know your anger would still be in the way but, if you look hard enough that anger might be holding you back from your pain. If pain is still there that means you lost something that I treasured just as much as you.
With love,
MBCC
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