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I think my boyfriend doesn't care about me. It is my "inner self" telling me that. He is not showing it, but... I feel like he doesn't care.
The worst thing is that I don't know why.
When he's in town, he initiates for us to be together all the time. When he's not in town, he calls me 2 to 3 times a day. He got me gifts for New Year's, Valentine's and Womens' Day. He gives me attention and shows me affection. He calls me sweet names. He lent me his laptop to use for my work. He cooks me coffee EVERY morning when he's there. He doesn't go out with his friends (and it was his decision not mine), and if he does, he takes me with him. He's been talking about marriage. About kids. He's selfless in bed. He asks about my day and shares his day with me. He drove 4 hours just to see me.
And I still feel like he doesn't care. I feel like everything is an act and he's using me for whatever reasons... I can't share my fears with him because I'm afraid it would chase him away. But I can't believe that he cares about me.
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He cares for sure.
Has he ever pushed you away again and again?
Does he ever play head games?
Does he flirt or act like he has another whenever you can't be by his side?
Does he make you feel special or does he act like you should feel lucky to be with him?
If you answered no. ..then he also values you. That is important as well.
If you answered yes to the questions then I would say keep looking.
He sounds like a good catch based off from what you have written.
ReplyI honestly think the only way you will ever find out if he truly cares about you is by sharing your fears with him. If it does chase him away then good riddance, that's not someone you want to be with. However, this guy seems like someone who definitely cares about you a lot, especially if he's talking about marriage. Whatever you do don't let this go unsaid until you're unhappily married with kids and you finally confront him and it all ends badly. Speak to him, if he cares he will understand and reassure you, if he doesn't he will leave. Simple.
ReplyYup, that's right.
ReplyWell, I think you are doubting him alot.
But I think you should observe the most basic things, like, things that are not superficial. Is he true to you? Is he honest? When you talk, do you feel like he genuinely wants to talk to you and listen to you? If he is showering you with love all the time, it can fade away as well. Do you really think he's going to do all that affectionate stuff for you all his life if you get married? Sounds like a very unrealistic thing to me. But it can also happen. And it would be really amazing if it did. Still, you shouldn't make opinions about him based on all of these things. You should see how genuine his feelings are for you. Because that's what's going to stay for long. See how real he is with you. Not just the superficial kind of love, but a more real, and genuine kind of love. Because that's what matters more. Everyone can be all nice to you, and give you gifts and cards, and smile at you, call you cute names. And yes, these things do matter alot, but they arent enough to make an opinion about someone. You got to know them for how they are with you when you are at your worst, or when both of you go through some tough time in your relationship or just how genuine he is with you. So observe him for the basic things. That'll give you an idea of whether he REALLY cares about you. I hope you get your answers.
If you want to talk more, I would be happy to help you out. Take Care.
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