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Ive been blessed with an amazing Daughter, an incredible Son, and the most wonderful and supportive Mom/ best friend anyone could ever ask for. But little else in my life has ever gone well. Ive made huge mistake after huge mistake while following my heart. Always thinking that the next big leap will bring me to a ledge where i can finally pull myself up and out of the depths of my sorrow, only to fall deeper into the darkness. Time after time i do this. Over and over. Because a whisper in my head tells me that the hope of making it out of the pit is worth the risk. I want to overcome this feeling of isolation and loneliness. To break out of my shell and make friends without fear of their turning on me. To love without the ties of past relationships holding me back. But now the other part of me, the loud cautious side is winning. Telling me that if i leap this time, there could be no way out. If i jump it might be the last time i have the chance to reach a ledge.. But still i want to.
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