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Tomorrow i will have STAAR Testing tomorrow in Monday, May 8, 2017.
I'm worried i will fail the test and go to summer school and disappoint my family. This has been bothering me since i knew about STAAR, iv'e been failing math since 4th grade and still today i am failing. Disappointment and stress come through me everyday, sometimes i have been too stressed that i have thoughts of suicide. I am afraid of failing my family as the oldest daughter of my family. I have never felt this feeling before. I enjoyed my home country but ever since i moved to the US, i have been mentally stressed or if i can call it depression. And i've been enduring this known pain for about a year and a half including when i was about to leave the Philippines which i had to leave my mom, friends and other family members. I feel like no one is beside me and forgot how to be happy, i had to pretend like a cheerful person in school and at home and pretended to be a strong person, but had to hide the feelings that brought me up like this, i am not only depressed by my grades but for my family, friends, and feelings. Since i moved to the US, i have been verbally abused by my relatives, and friends who i can't say my true feelings, feelings i've been faking, and always had to force myself to think that i am a happy person. This may not be the biggest problem in the world but, i wanted to express myself and let all the pain come out.
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