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I feel like I'm being held back and I spent all this time blaming people for holding me back silently hating them. But the person who holds me back the most is myself I'm a prisoner to my own thoughts and it scares me. I get so scared of life itself that I forget to live it. Scared of talking to people, Scared of being hated, Scared of societies thoughts of me, Scared of everything. But why? God made me perfect in his eyes. Because the reality is I'm scared of taking risks even the risk of saying HI to someone, it seems so damn scary that something like saying Hi could spiral into a million of rumors and lies and circulate out of my control. Trust me it has. People see me and label me a skank, slut a whore. Based on my looks? Cause they sure as hell don't know me. I feel like a rock has been placed on my shoulders and people keep on pushing down and adding weight and I'm doing nothing to stop this rock, cause it is out of my control isn't it? It's too hard? The words I'm perfect too me are so far fetched out of the picture like trying to make it to the end of the rainbow... you just can't. It's just so hard feeling like this feeling like the only way out is to be perfect, the only way for my family friends and all the people in my life to ever love me is to be perfect. But perfect doesn't exist people just don't understand that and after all the things I've been made to do it feels as if the rainbow is running away from me making life harder watching me trip fail fall over and laughing at me. But it's my own fault I let people dictate my life and I can't go back now I built the iron cage I'm in locked it and threw the key away. I have to stay here and continue there is no way out. It's too late........ Isn't It?
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Nobody is born perfect and nobody will die perfect
Perfect just doesn't exist
I used to feel the same way, its called imposter syndrom.
Nobody expects you to be perfect, it is just in your mind.
whatever you're achieving in your life you don't feel you'd put enough efforts.
just try to internalize your success and celebrate even your little achievements.
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