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In love, I am afraid for my feet to touch the ground.. Whenever they do, I worry that the moments of bliss, effort and hard work poured into us are of no value anymore. Although these tangible moments are rare, this latest episode has changed our course. Before we started dating, we had the goal of marriage in mind. It was agreed.. and a responsible adult approach to what we wanted to build. Now, two years later.. conversations about marriage are not as promising. To be told that it is not a flaw in my character or actions, but that your view has changed... that you now see marriage as a business. So I now look at a fork in the road.. whether to leave or stay.
This is exhausting. I do not deserve it. This is frustrating. When anyone else would willingly jump at a chance. That is not said with any ounce of vanity. I just know my worth..and I do not want to give my worth to anyone. You by no means are perfect. One of the drawbacks to our dynamic is your inability (or unwillingness) to recognize when I am empty.
A slap in the face...
When I pour so much to building you up, providing a platform so that you can pursue your dreams and be amazing to your daughter.
So.. my feet are firmly planted on the ground... and given everything that I have done for you, I do not know if I will ever let them leave again.
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