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I think I'm stuck circling the drain and I *need* some outside perspective.
What am I living for?
I'm 28 and work a full time job, so when I retire (60 or let be realistic 70) I can stop working to do what I want. I've worked my dream job (turns out I didn't enjoy it as much as I like), I've travelled to 7-10 countries and I have a great group of friends I talk and play games with almost daily. I make an alright wage, which lets me do pretty much anything I want on a weekend.
Dementia and Alzheimer's run in my family. My dad died recently (61) of heart related reasons, but he was showing the early sings of Dementia /Alzheimer's. My mum died (61) from alcoholism when I was 18.
I'm asexual, so I don't want a partner. (I have had previous partners, I'm not a virgin and I have felt love).
So, right now I'm young(ish), but my body is slowly failing and I guess my mind is as well. I think I've lived a good life. Is there anything left or should I leave what little money I have to someone who still has a chance to do something great with their lives?
Side note: I have 1 brother, 2 sisters, 1 step-sister. A nephew and 2 nieces. I'm closest to my brother, but we're as a whole we're pretty close family. I think I've had depression all my life, but it's undiagnosed. (I have self harmed in the past, but I have good control of my emotions now)
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Man, theres no real reason to keep on living.
But we just do, to fool ourselfs or something.
Distract yourself, instead of laying around in your free time or working...think of a pointless activity thatll keep you from thinking too much. Keep lving. Just for the heck of it. I don't know...hope youre still alive. xoxo. Kyotee.
Replykeep writing and reaching out.. your words help me. kinda seems dumb but seeing other people go through similar things shows I'm not completely alone. let's live. let's make it through this current shit show and find an unexpected rainbow, one with a big pot of gold at the end. I love ya anonymous being
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