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The document i selected in word was ‘blank’...just like my life nowadays...blank....some optimistic people say being blank is great, you can write and draw anything you want on it....i differ to that opinion now...lets just say i am a blank paper but don’t have any pen or pencil or any other medium to colour or write on too on my blankness...doesn’t sound too philosophical now does it. I love life...want to do great things...but have lost that confidence that i used to have...nothing sad has happened to me...its just that i am lost...don’t know when exactly...but right now lost is what defines me...my parents think i am doing good for myself..but they don’t know i steal 50 to 100rs daily from my house just to pay the tea bills and my petrol expenses..i belong to a upper middle class family..so that amount of money doesn’t come to notice of my father...he has a business...my father is a great self-made man...unlike most fathers who would force their children to join inn their business..he has always kept the business as a back up idea for me..and supported my passion for photography and film making...its not that I haven’t tried to fit inn in his business...but that leaves me more clueless and deprived at the end of the day...i since my childhood always thought that i was overrated...by my teachers and friends and sometimes even by the things that i did...its been over a year i haven’t got any substantial work and i don’t know when is this going to end...its not that i haven’t tried of getting any work...i have tried all my contacts and even further to get some work but all in vain...i don’t earn much even to feed myself if it wasn’t for my fathers 50-100 rs daily which i ‘STEAL’ and my girlfriend wants to get married by next year..she also thinks i make good enough..i said it to her because i didnt want her to feel sad about me..I don’t want people to sympathise for me.. and that’s the reason i m writing this anonymously.. just wanted to get it all out.. may be I will feel better after it...who knows.. have a nice day everyone.
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I am also similar I haven't had anything really bad happen to me to do this I just feel empty, with nothing to fill. But life will get better you will eventually find a pencil and I'd eventually find some water to fill me . So just hold on because you never know when your finding that pencil.
ReplyHope you and me both find our share of happiness...cheers..your comment sure did madr me feel better..thank you.
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