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They say that once you are an adult things get easier , you enjoy a much larger freedom , you dont need anyones permission etc. I never had any friends as a child or a teenager and now that i am a young adult i still have found no one . The few people that talk to me tell me how annoying i am , how i never shut up . I am sorry i dont try to be annoying , i just talk all the time becausei never had anyone to talk to , i am too tired to talk to walls , talk to myself. Is it not part of friendship to talk to each other? I basically this summer realized that i have no one to go out with , no one to go to vacations with, thats why i even tooka project mid june with a dealine of october. Thats why i go to summer courses all the time to fill my time that would otherwise be me sitting in a room completely alone and with nothing to do. It keeps me sane , working that is, only then the feelings of sadness loneliness go away. Thankfully i stopped being peoples puching bag... one coleuage was being way to ignorant and light headed like she is above all , i showed her , i treated her with irrelevance, she asked for her bag and i said there it is take it. When i bumped into her because i had to pass through to get some papers and she wasnt budging even if i asked her she called me mad, i am not mad my dear i am a human and asfar as i can see i am the only one who remembers death. I work my ass off 24/7 365 days a year , thankfully i have enough time for gym and i am in a good condition and is getting even better! Still what am i supposed to do. Why no one wants to talk to me. Yes i work a lot but i always meet new people and with some of them keep in touch. Still we go out a lot we learn about each other and then they just leave they dissapear and ignore me... it hurts having no one to talk to no one to call no one that undestands you. Even now i add mre tags in my writings in the vain hope of someone seeing this. I know that no one listens ...
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What you described is, basically, my life. I like to think that I'm alone because I prefer the company of books, but who am I kidding. It gets hard when you see every single person around you get close and intimate with someone over time, while all you think of is the last book you read, so that the thought of your loneliness does not come across your mind. No one to talk to, no one to hug.
ReplySee......even here I'm alone. sigh
ReplyDont worry be happy fill your life with senseless tasks and eventually we will all wither.
Reply