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Heart broken
8 years ago · 0
1266
When you lose someone, you love, they break your heart. It"s the hardest thing you could ever go through. And no matter how much time passes, it never really goes away. You may think you"re finally getting better, but then you get a flashback, or hear a song that reminds you of a memory, and it hits you all over again, all at once, toppling on you, suffocating you. Like a stab in the chest. Your throat gets tight. You fall apart, for the hundredth time, and you feel like you just want to crawl into a tiny ball and disappear so that the pain will go away with you. You have to see them every day. It hurts every day. You"re always going to want it to be you and him in the end. You don"t even know how but you want it. It"s hard to speak to them, you get too nervous, intimidated, even a little excited. When you see him he instantly makes your heart beat faster and your breath gets deeper. You've only experienced love once, and you can and only have loved this person with all of your heart, even though you know you shouldn't. They"re clueless as to even how you feel, no one else even knows. He"s perfect in your vision, even with their flaws; you somehow love their flaws too. They"re still perfection in every angle. They hurt you more than you"ve ever been hurt before. They stole your happiness but yet you still want them more than ever, and only them. Other people may come along, but they"re nothing compared to them. Other people come along, actually giving you a chance to move on, but really deep down you know you don"t want to. It upsets you that you might actually be moving on now, because you promised you never would, and even if they ended up breaking all their promises, you will never break yours. On top of all this, you"re absolutely terrified of getting hurt again, but it"s not like it would matter anyway, at the end of every day you still think of that one person that left you utterly broken. You hate the things they do to you, how they make you feel. You hate the fact you still love them how you do. They don"t deserve the way you feel about them. You were my first boyfriend, first love, and I will always want you to be my last boyfriend, last love. I don"t want to miss you anymore. I don"t want to love you anymore, but I know I always will.
- written for an ex boyfriend who I just can't get over, we were together for almost a year (10 months?) and i just cant get over him even though now its been a year and a half since our break up looool. I don't even know if i should try and get him back or really really try to move on, it's hard because were in the same class for everything (yes this is a teenage love don't judge) also we're friends now after a big and messy breakup that led to us hating one another for a good 8 months or so. But now we're on good terms and can talk as mates although he's very clueless as to how i feel.
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