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It's 2017 and I'm still alive. I'm 24 and should have finished life when I started college in 2011. Why am I still here? The reason I want to leave is because I feel like there is no point to life. I told my family. I told my counselor everything and my psychiatrist how I've been feeling for over a year. I've tried and am still trying to distract myself from dreams of offing myself, but it's like I'm trying to ignore the imaginary elephant in the room. There doesn't seem to be any point to life. I feel like everybody's just building castles of sand only for the tide to come and wash them away. We work and work and work and then we die. I don't know how much longer I will survive here. I already made a good plan for when I'm ready. I just don't know how to know I'm ready or how to prepare for what may come after. I swear if I knew, I guarantee I would've been gone. I come from an okay family in Alabama, and I'll miss them, but it's like even if I did live and die of natural causes it wouldn't make a difference. The next generation of people will come and it'll be like me and my family were never here. We're all just live in a world of strangers and temporaries. Why bother? We live in a world of chaos and mystery. And drugs and not just the chemical kind... I don't get how I came to have my body and existence. I don't know what I'm here for. I want to be free. Not competing, not struggling, not getting sucked into some drug or pursuit. I don't think life's for everyone...
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I know that life can be tough on you, but I care about you. Please don't go.
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