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i always feel the same like numbness and almost surreal state when it gets to night time. im not making this a depressed post or depressing piece of writing im just filtering my thoughts out, because i actually like this feeling. so ill sit up, and listen to some music that triggers really deep thoughts or songs that trigger specific memories of important moments in my life. i dont know if this is something other people who are intense with their emotions and have anxiety also or if its just a universal thing. it can get quite panicky, sometimes makes me cry, sometimes just makes me sit and think abt things. it happens moreso when times are changing rapidly or becoming extremely intense. im moving to University next week and i think the fact that i know my entire life is going to change is what is really making everything so surreal right now. although i remember feeling like this and having these stages since i was younger, and its times like this that really define me as an independent soul honestly. im always just trusting myself and following my intuitions, never really been through something where i can say i had a specific friend or person to help me through it. ive learnt to deal with things entirely on my own but maybe thats because of my trust issues idk.
i enjoy listening and giving other people advice, im a libra lol. so when it comes to me i end up having to listen to myself and never reach out for advice because when i have done so in the past ive never had these cries for help answered. its made me into a very resilient person, a very strong person and more than anything a confident person. ive had to trust and listen to myself and myself only for so long, i know exactly who i am and what i can endure/deal with - NO ONE can tell me any different.
im such a lil independent lost soul honestly lol
but i love the person i am becoming :) which is the most important thing.
jus wanted to share that xx
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