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I guess Im asking for some advice as Im at my wits end with my 9 year old son who does not listen to me. Im sick and tired of having to fight each day for simple things. Now think of a 'normal' child. A child who has normal functioning of their neural pathways in their brain. 'Normal' brain chemistry. You may say 3 times to do something before they actually do it. You give ultimatums, you will count to 3, you will give punishments and eventually the child will comply. Now times all this by 20, even 30 or 40. And still no compliance. At what point is he being a typical 9 year old and at what point is he physically and mentally unable to register what is being asked of him because of his disorder.
How would you get your child to do something as simple as getting school clothes on the in the morning without a massive meltdown of both mother and child.
Immediate punishments don't work. He doesn't care.
Smacking his bottom? Do it harder he yells. He thrives on intense feelings whether its pleasant or not.
Reward charts? He destroys them, rips them up, scribbles over them, throws them in the bin.
Scream at him? He screams louder back.
Whisper all morning of what is needing to be done. He yells back regardless.
Tell him once, clear instructions then when its time, get in car and start to drive away. He runs down the driveway half naked yelling like a mad man saying wait for me. And me knowing I will have to go back inside house anyway to get the rest of his clothes and lock up the house.
Calmly gently reminding him all morning of what is needing to be done. He still ignores me regardless.
I don't let him watch tv in the morning until he gets dressed but he doesn't care. He will find something else to preoccupy his time with.
Does anyone have any suggestions to help me out? Im a single mother and do not have the help of anyone else. Its not only getting dressed in the morning but clear defiance over every single thing and completely ignorant of me and anything I say.
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I'm sorry for what you're going through, I'm not a parent yet so I don't have any advice to give you from personal experience. But I'd say you should seek the help of a professional who specializes in dealing with children. I hope things get better with your child.
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