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Just a little something I wrote a few months after my breakup 2 years back. Never sent it to my ex, damn I was deep in love. Most of it doesn't hold true anymore, still wanted to share! Here it goes!
Hey, remember me?
Who am I kidding! Of course, you do. I know you do.
I know we haven't talked to each other in a while. I know that everything ended in a bad note. But I've been doing a lot of thinking and contemplation lately. And, I just wanted to tell you that I miss you. I do. Not that I want to talk to you again. Not that I want get back together. Just that I miss you. I miss being with you. I miss talking to you. I miss everything about you. It's heart rending when someone we know becomes someone we knew. It hurts when the person who knew us more than anyone else becomes a stranger. It's so weird that even after so much time, there isn't a single day that goes without your thought. Sometimes I try to keep myself busy, so that your thoughts don't come barging in. But then I see something, a photo, a quote, or hear a song, or smell of the deo you used when we were together, and recently you, and everything comes crashing down. That weight is, sometimes, too unbearable.
A part of me still wants you. A part of me still wants to talk to you. A part of me still wants to be with you. But I stop myself and my thoughts when I remember everything that happened. There were days when I keep staring at my phone hoping you'd call. I know for a fact that you won't, but a heart wants what it wants.
This isn't regret. We had our reasons, no no you had your reasons. Yes they were fair, and also valid. They'll be valid as long as we're here. But strange it is, that we never needed reasons for falling in love. Everything felt right. Everything felt together. After the reasons came in, everything has been about them. Everything happened for a reasons, unfair, but valid reasons. And that to good. This all means that I'm going to find something, that won't end in reasons; someone who won't say goodbye. Future is promising, but indefinite.
Still, a part of me misses everything. A part of me misses being loved. A part of me misses being in awe. A part of me misses loving someone without second thoughts.
This is going too far, isn't it? I just wanted to say that I hope you're doing well. I hope you're happy with everything. I hope you don't get those pangs of sadness at nights. I hope you find a love that is yours. I hope you find a love that will be your salvation. I hope you find a love that ours could never be.
But then again, that stupid part of me still wishes for you to remember our love, before all the downfalls and reasons. I wish, I hope, that you miss me too.
Love You.
- "You know who"
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