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It doesn’t help
to laugh
and to drink
and to try and get drunk
when my thoughts
are sober.
I
am so
In love
with the thought of
being in love
that I have started
to hate
love
itself.
I
don’t think
you are
out there
where I believe
you are.
I
will not
be enough
however long I try
to be
no matter how many
smiles I muster
no matter how many
lashes I curl
and hairs I pluck
and dresses i wear
and grades I force myself
to write.
you
hollywood
have made my heart
so
so
longing
and
so
so
expecting
that nothing will now
ever be enough
anymore
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