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I really hate my life. I don't know what to do, but I know that I'm unhappy. I feel selfish, lazy, mean, rude, and stupid. I'm also so so tired. I feel like I have only one good friend, and I absolutely love him and I feel like I can really talk to him about stuff, but it doesn't feel like enough. Everyday stuff has gotten really hard. I can't concentrate on watching TV or reading, I can't study, I can't motivate myself to exercise or anything. I feel useless. My future seems like a black hole, and honestly I'm just not sure if want to live anymore. Right now I'm just desperately hoping that starting therapy next month will change something for me, because I feel so empty and alone. I can't even eat anymore. I want to tell my mom how I've been feeling, but my brother and sister both have major depression and have wanted to kill themselves, and my other brother is depressed too, and I don't want to add to her burden. I feel like such a problem. I can't wait for my first therapy appointment. I'd love some words of advice or encourage...
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You know you're still so lucky to have one good friend i feel like i don't have any friends anymore like the friends that i have now is all fake so i can't trust any of them. I'm sure you have a bright future and i'm also sure you'll get much better after going to therapy :) good luck on your therapy and i really really hope your sister and brother will be better too.
ReplyI really wish we could have meet.. I was in the same place as of you.. any way, right now, just do yoga.. no motivation needed.. Choose yoga type which will help you increase oxygen in you body.. Everything else will be done automatically...
Replyyou're going to force yourself to see beyond your earthly means of what your current reality entails, and then find a point, maybe create or find a happy,safe place in your mind, and then use that as your objective to turn your reality over.
jahan
ReplyYou are not alone...I feel exactly the same...except my one supposedly good friend left me in the dirt...even though my life is still a mess...I learned some things that help..breaking down and crying helps...if you feel dead inside...watch something sad...there are lots of short stories on YouTube that I always watch...and then I cry along with those actors...funny as it sounds...it makes me realise that I'm not alone...and some might say feeling sorry for yourself Is a bad thing...but forcing yourself to act happy and dandy if you don't feel like it doesn't help either...you should look after yourself and not just be happy for the sake of others...I suggest that you talk to your mom, she might have a lot to deal with right now but at least she'll know..it might even make you feel slightly better....and then last but least...music...not necessarily sad but music that you can relate to your life..taking a walk while listening to music that describes what you feel is even better...or looking at starts or clouds
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