I Hate the Fact That I Miss you

All my days I kept on lying to myself- that I don't miss you anymore and I am okay without you. That you were my worst nightmare and that all you did was hurt me.

This sucks! Because no matter how much I deny it, deep inside I still care for you. I still miss you every day, every hour, every minute, and every second you come across my mind. All the time we had spent together. The connection and the effortless conversation. The laughter and the weirdness we both had shared. It was like a dream... To have someone that understands you to a level that no one does.

And then that time came... when you no longer care. When you started to ignore me like I'm a stranger. That we didn't share anything in that one year and 4 months.

Reality hits me... when I no longer have your eyes. That the thought of another girl has gotten your attention for you to leave me hanging.

It was so devastating. Your love or the idea of your love. Somehow makes me think if it is real or not. Because if it's the latter, then I should give up on you. Ghosting like I don't deserve an explanation.

I'm so tired of this overturned kind of love this society is offering me. It is not even love, for even the songs stated more about lust. I'm so tired of the trend about love should be more about physical, hitler! Physical fades. STUPID SOCIETY SUCKS NOWADAYS... I will not venture on love if it is not genuine. I hate how the world has distorted the meaning of love. *angry*