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I need help.
I'm in love with a Japanese singer (yes, they are real), and it's spiralling out of control. I can barely listen to him anymore without welling with tears, getting depressed or having my heart feel like it's gonna have a cardiac arrest in the surrounding minutes!
I've tried to move on, and yet I am still stuck here. I have a strong spiritual belief, and have attempted to ask my grandad, grandpa, gran and nana for help, for advice, or even just an answer of how likely it is for me to be his and him to be mine, all to no avail.
I've had these emotions for a year now, and have liked him for 2 years, but these emotions scare me. I'm in over my head. I'm scared of someone else taking him, but I'm even more scared if I found out who it was I'd try and hurt them like a psycho-Yandere.
I just feel... dead, without them. I already suffer from depression, anxiety, potential PTSD and autism, and to add I have suicidal and homicidal thoughts. Am I crazy? Is this an obsession? Is this really love? Am I going insane? I don't want to hurt him or anyone for that matter!
Please, someone, help me.
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You should know that love is never something mystical thing. There is not a single cupple of people, who were born for eachother. Real love is created by hard work, and a lot of effort. Without that it's nothing but physical attraction. And if I understood you well, you don't even know this singer in person. I know how it feels, when you are attracted to someone to the point where you can't even really control what you do, and it's really hard to rise above those feelings, but there is something that you can do. You should stop listening to him, and cut him out of your life entirely, until you'll be able to not think about him at all. You could start seeing other people meanwhile, I think that doing these could actually help you.
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