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life was normal. at least i thought. right now i am 13 years old, and all the stress mainly has come in the year of 2017 (now) and also around the age of 12. some might think thats normal for a teen, because there’s drama. there’s bumps in the road. but at this point i really dont know what to do. let me explain my family really quick. we are pretty strict and very religious christians, and we are indian, just if you want a visual. anyways, my family is my mom, dad and my 6 year old brother. my dad has an older brother and sister, and my mom has one younger brother and one older brother. My mom’s side of the family is the side im more comfortable with, for reasons that i will explain. My dad’s side is a bit more awkward and im still trying to fully understand. My dads older sister is the main person i will talk about now, though. She is married to my uncle and they have 3 daughters, the oldest is my age, the middle is 11/10 and the youngest one is 7. They are and have always been far from your average family. For starters, my dad and his siblings were raised in a tough environment. not one i would wish anyone to go through. They were sent to a boarding school by my grandparents in order for them to get a good education. Unfortunately, that was india and at that time and place, punishment was violence. The teachers were and some still are allowed to spank and hit the students for breaking certain rules and they have to sleep away from home, with people they don’t know. The rules were set. There wasn’t any fun besides the sports that was their only enjoyment. They could leave to visit their family for about 3 weeks for the entire year. 3 weeks. 49 weeks without a true place to call home. No true compassion or love or anything for that matter. They were raised like this, and unfortunately those are some major building blocks to problems today. about 6 years ago, all three of these people (aunt, uncle, my dad) were driving their spouses and families to breaking points. now its only two of them, my aunt and my dad. my uncle started examining himself and changed because he realized the harm he was causing and he wanted to make something work. unfortunately that hasnt happened with my aunt and my dad yet. my aunt is incredibly messy and she almost acts as if she is mentally insane. my cousin’s house is a junkyard. their bathrooms have living white worms and larvae growing and thriving. their sinks are all nasty, stairs lined with dirty underwear and rooms stuffed with trash upon trash. the dad is almost always gone for his work, and same with the mom. when they are home and together as a family, they fight. the kids sit there, watching their father and mother scream and yell at each other every day. theres nothing they can do. the parents (mainly mom) yell at their kids for not doing things that the kids havent been taught to do on a regular basis. the mom even favorites the middle child. think about it. a normal teenager and a poor 7 year old girl hear and see their parents verbally and physically abuse each other, and their mother doesnt like them as much as she does their sister. meanwhile their sister is thinking that she is fine because her mom likes her, but she cant figure out a way to tell her mom to just stop. another important point: my grandparents on my dads side are not nice. this might just be the way they were raised and thats also how they raised their kids, but it is absolutely terrifying and scary. i dread going to visit them in india in fear that i will hear them screaming at my mom again because shes not a good mother or a good wife. they act nice to me. they really try to. but when i look into their smiling faces, all i can see is the anger that is breaking my mom down. so much. so much that my mom, the strongest role model ive had, breaks down and cries to me everyday telling me that she just cant do it. every time they call my dad, they fight with him. its almost nature for that family to yell, scream and fight at each other and unfortunately i was raised by one of those people. let me just say now, i love my dad. i really love him to pieces, but he and his family are so stubborn. they dont know when to stop or when enough is enough. i can tell that he is trying to be a good dad to me and my brother, but he doesnt try to be a good husband. since the year after he got married, my mom told me that he was stressing her out even then. knowing that my parents were stressed and trying to pay the bills and yelling at each other while i was sleeping in a crib next to them is heart breaking. absolutely. my dad has anger issues. theres no doubt about it. i try to support the things he says sometimes out of sympathy. i am terrified of him and want to speak out but i dont want to hurt our relationship. he doesnt know how to handle situations. i understand that, however. okay. you get mad. you yell. but you should never in your right mind, dare to curse against your own wife or lay a single hand on her when you are mad. leave the house for a few hours. take a walk. talk to someone or get help. but do not dare. do not dare look for reasons to convince yourself that its okay because it is not. that is simply nothing more to me than the devil himself. i dont tolerate you, your sister or your parents yelling at my mom and hitting her. i dont and i never will. my dad hit my mom two days ago. she just explained to him what happened a few weeks ago. basically, she was talking to her friend from our church by audio message. the audio accidentally got sent to a group chat with all the parents in our church. the audio was her and her friend talking about my aunt, and about how she doesnt bat an eye to her own kids. my dad was extremely mad. maybe because it was his sister. maybe because it was something she shouldnt have done. but i believe he got that mad because he felt it would ruin his reputation with the people at church. he yelled and yelled so loudly. i was sleeping in my room upstairs, and one of my cousins was sleeping next to me because she had a sleepover. i could clearly hear every word he was screaming, and my mom trying to tell him something. but he wouldnt let her speak. let her have her own voice. i grabbed my phone. the time was 8:34 AM. i was quickly clicking on my phone through snapchat and instagram, purposely making a lot of noise as my fingers tapped the screen in an effort so my cousin wouldnt hear my parents yelling as she woke up. i yawned extra loudly and tried to cover it up. nothings going on. im fine. my parents totally arent screaming at each other downstairs. i had been to her house for sleepovers so many times. her parents never fought. not a single word of hatred that i had heard. they were so loving and at times i felt much more safe, protected and happy when i was with them. my home was like a prison. 24/7, yelling and screaming and stress. that morning, my dad hit my mom. after he yelled, she just simply stopped replying because it was no use. she just turned around and made coffee for them both in silence. this made my dad madder and he slapped her on her back left shoulder. she told me the horror as she felt his hand hit her. it wasnt because of the physical pain, however. it was that this was the person that she was stuck with for the rest of her life. my mom is stay at home. she helps my dad with his buisness, and just recently got a job. she didnt have much opprotunities when she came here to study, so she constantly tells me to study well. she doesnt want me to end up like her, stuck in an abusive relationship. she tells me that my dad only cares about money. since she has no job and he knows that she depends on him, he uses it to his advantage and puts her down as if she is some slave. the comments he has made against her, me, my brother, his own parents and his siblings are disgusting. im stuck. i just pray everyday that the same power that helped my uncle can help my dad and my aunt. i dont know how to cope with this anymore.
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