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I was 17 at the time the guy that I was hanging with was 22. Well we smoked a little about a bowl, before I ended up losing my virginity to him. It took me a month before I went and got a test, I was pregnant. I told him about it and his words were get rid of it. I told him no my family was against it well that led to weeks of him calling and cussing me out. I told my parents three days after I found out. I knew I probably wasn’t ready, but when I found out I tried to do what anyone should do with going to be a single parent. I asked for more hours, started saving more, and all this other stuff. I knew I couldn’t give them the best things in life but I was going to try. I turned 18 that month too so I was gonna try my everything. I was scared, but happy for some reason I think it’s because the baby was the only thing that was keeping me alive. Two days after three months I miscarried depression hit in hard, It led me to the hospital. And everytime I see one of my friends or someone I know with a baby it kills me cause it hasn’t been that long since I did lost it. My friends cheered about it that made me want to break down it hurt. I avoided everyone, pushed everyone away, and lost my best friend cause he would never understand what I was going through. None of them knew that I ever wanted a family of my own. It was one thing I lied about not want but deep down that is at the top of my list. I miss it to be honest I was waiting to hold that little baby to try my best I didn’t care what other would have thought and if the father wasn’t there. I made it without mine and I knew it takes a real man to be a father just really wish I could have seen my baby
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Sorry for your loss dear but we all lost someone and crying won't bring them back. People never know how much a person is important in your life specially when it's your own peace of soul . You are brave and you should think about your future now may be one day you will be able to conceive another child with a nice person
ReplyI am sorry for your loss, I actually went thru a miscarriage as well, so I know how you feel. I was young, but once I found out.. I was so happy, boyfriend not so much.. I still hurt from it. It will slowly get better, I am a nurse, & I always tell my patients to name the baby. Right now, what would the name be. I did it, and it just felt, like when I cried or hurt, she was there.
ReplyI had a dream about the child months ago I named him Nikolai James
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