Holidays aren’t easy ...

I think about my dad all the time... I think about how life would be if he was still here ... I almost feel selfish wishing he was ... my dad was sick and to wish that he was still here would be wrong of me.. but I can’t help but wish that he never got sick in the first place... the holidays are always really hard ... we didn’t have much growing up my sister and I but we were so greatful for my mom and dad.. they worked so hard to give us everything.. even if that meant they had nothing... life wasn’t always so beautiful or simple... I had to grow up really fast... how quickly a once loving and peaceful home turned so dramatically... getting Into detail is still to painful at this point... I guess the reason I’m sharing this is mainly because I want others to know they aren’t alone... believe it or not I understand the pain of loosing the only piece of your life that actually made sense... I know the feeling of not having control... the feeling that being dead is so much easier than this.. the feeling of being so lonely that it’s almost unbearable... I once thought I was alone ... but I realized something a couple years ago when I was going through an even harder time .. We are really never alone.. somewhere someone is feeling the same way.. hurting the same way... I’ll never know where those people are but in that moment someone is crying with you in this world.. we might not know them or see them... but we are never alone..... idk if anyone will understand what I mean but I’ll stand by that....