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I've always been a problem child for my mother sense i started preschool. I almost never hear stories about my childhood as a baby and if i do it was about how i always was a big boy. I gave my mother problems in a various of number of ways and so much that I had a board of drs and officers and childserves alike tell my mother she was a bad mother just cause i had a severe case of ODD and had a nasty habit that i couldn't break.
I was never diagnosed though as a child or as an adult but its the only thing i could think of that i could tell myself to make myself feel better once i started to think like this.
My mom has remarried from my father. I wasn't okay with as a kid and not to recently still feel that way today. My newest step father of 16 years now is good man from the outside looking in if told by an Fincal standpoint but as Father and family member is very closed and pitiful. To him everything in life isnt free. So if you want something from him help or not its not free his time means money. I have 3 sister 2 older 1 younger and all of us older children hate the step dad cause of his look on life. Cause family is not excluded from his look on life unless you are his son or daughter by blood.
I've grown up with my sister and my mom as a single mother till i was 12 and we were happy and things were good. Mom went out and did her thing but what ever i wasnt mad. She marries this guy out of the blue and none of the family was invited but her brother.. Nothing says like i love you and your family like lets get married in private.
I am now 23 and living at house after leaving and coming back multiple times form getting out there and seeing whats out there for me cause my mother said she would always support me in following what i believed in and i didn't know what i wanted so i treid a little of everything and sometimes but i ended up back home for longer than expect this last time i've came back.
I've accumulated some debt with my step father not on purpose but i took a job out in a Alsaka that i thought would be great but panned out im not meant for hard labor like that and called it quits after a month and half. Made enough money to make it home but was already broke no job and no bank account before i left home that my checks were mailed to my house and the only check i had in my possesion was my current one to date of 300 with no way to cash it to buy a plane ticket home. Long story short i called my mom she barrowed the cash bought the tickets and chose windows seats cause she was just looking out for me but didn't know i didn't have alot of cash i wa coming home with.
Now fast forward 4-5 months i now just got this real nice security job that im doing well at and can see myself building from here and making good money at that but as soon as he heard i was working he wanted rent and money back or at least this is as i hear from my sister that talks with my mom all the time and later comfirmed when i brought up the subject in the car on the way home from work today. We get home and i bleed to my mom that David doesn't care about me all he cares about is the money i owe him and getting me the hell out of here but he doesn't considered the fact that if you let that small debt go and let me provide some money to put food back in the house i would get out of here alot faster.
As we continue I dig deeper into the emotinal side of my mother that loves me and point out that she would never take my money im trying to save to get my life started just to prove a point that nothing is free in this world. I told her that I have no idea why he is so vindictive of me but he is.. Comapred in our pitty attacks or mistakes we've made with each other in the past he has always been the one to strike. Outside looking in on this story is that i could be spoild by my mother but i assure im quite not.
I love my family and there is nothing i wouldnt do for them. If they were hungry i would feeed them if they need help i will help them and if they need me i will be there and these are none of the qualities that i see in that man. Those are the qualities of a true man Marring the family of his wife and being there for them as if they were your own children. My sister and I are not we are outcasted and treated and introduced as Step Children.
This betryal within my family by him burns in my chest like the firey depths of hell and fills me with such anger and pain when i see where my mother was and where she is now and what shes become and i reminder her of this when i spoke to her today.. My mother very stern and calm holding her deminer says " i wouldn't worrie to much about the future but i don't see myself being with much longer" and the look on her face was a face of apathy of anything and she continued doing the dishes.. as i tried to continue our conversation I beging to feel an overwhelming sensation of guilt...
I love my mother and support her choice in marriage at the time but as i grew older and chose to no longer turn my head to the fact my mother has given up her love for us that was once us over anyone no matter what to my life is with us now and ill do what i can for you guys when i can ...
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