Depriving Myself from everything

Ever since i was little i used to save money , i didn't buy anything i wanted , i prefered to save it so i can buy something else i wanted but when i had the money to buy the that thing , i would convince myself i didn't need it so i keep saving until my money is wasted on little things that i don't even remember or need , i feel that i am too harsh with myself .

i am saying that because i deprive myself from a lot of things ,i am not stingy it's the opposite i am very generous with my friends and family but when it comes to myself i stop myself from buying anything like food when i am out with my friends , clothes that i need , accessories like watches and glasses , i don't even spend money on my hobbies .

my self deprivation doesn't only include money , when i am angry with someone or i had fight with someone from my family , i stop eating or eat less than half a meal a day even if they don't know about it , i am not doing it for show ,it just happens , another example is when i am sad or in a really bad mood i deprive myself from sleeping even though i need a lot of sleep to finish assignments for my college , i feel like i am punishing myself for something that i don't know , i always had that feeling .