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How can I motivate myself? I come from a poor and abusive family leaving me with no financial or emotional support. In fact, I am unemployed currently and still contributing to their household with what money I have. I was attending college several years ago but, due to loved ones health issues, decided to take a 'break' to help. Since then I have fallen deeper into depression and one horrid event after another, along with entering an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship, (I didn't realize until I was already.. 'molded') has me immobilized. I can't get through a day without either crying, having a mental breakdown, sleeping endlessly, or zoning out. I will find myself 'daydreaming' about an alternate life or world-even while driving. I don't notice sometimes until I 'come back' with an odd smile on my face. I have not been diagnosed with depression or otherwise but I know this isn't normal-and I have not always been this bad off mentally. I recently considered suicide which I would never have contemplated before and I am myself enough to realize I'm about to fall deeper soon. I have so many goals and dreams, used to have hobbies but I am a shell of a person anymore. I just want to feel better. I want to succeed in life, just find simple enjoyment but I only ever feel apathy or anger or sadness-by and large directed at the world and even total strangers. I have tried to motivate myself with goals, with money, rewards, etc to no avail. I am usually very driven by outside approval but since the loss of my loved ones-who that was influenced by-I cannot seem to put in effort anywhere even when I want nothing more. I have no health insurance and am ineligible for welfare so far as I'm aware-I will be applying again but lack hope. I used to be very involved and now I'm here. I have no direction and am aimless. Please someone help.
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Baby steps. One small goal at a time. All those small goals will add up and create positivity. It will take time and effort and your the one who will have to push yourself. Start now with one small step in the right direction. I believe in you.Good luck.
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