Confused

I never imagined life to be so difficult when I was a child. It gets tougher and lonelier each day. But after everything, I am still confused. Is the way I feel justified, or does my thinking make life harder. I know it doesn't makes sense, but I am like that. Confused about everything. What to do? What not to do? Am I right? Am I a good person? Or just a person making their life tough by their own mistakes? Maybe everyone feels the same. Or maybe I am the troubled kid. Don't really know. It feels like I lose hope with each passing day. And then I look back at the person I was, and the person I dreamt to become, and it makes me sad. The thing is even after everything, there are instances where I don't feel anything at all. I feel numb. Truth is I don't know whether it's because of too much trauma, or none at all. Everything's driving me crazy.