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...wished I would get hit by a car, or fall down the stairs, or have my heart stop, more than i have in the past year or so. I drive to work and actually hope someone would blow through a stop sign or red light and clobber me... I've come to the point where I try to workout almost daily so it either improves my health, physique, performance, or kills me. Either way, I don't care enough. I also don't understand it. How can one be so miserable and be irritated by just about everything. I eat clean, I workout almost daily, I try to sleep and meditate... Still, I just don't see a point to any of it. I find I'm exercising my self control by not doing something rash (as people would say). Oh and I pretty much just hate waking up and being me in every regard. I just dont get it. Figuring maybe someone has some advice on how they got themselves out of that funk? Maybe I need to quit my job, move, go skydiving, or something to pump adrenaline? Winter going on so I cant go riding, but even that's losing its joy factor....
Anyway, thats it. If anyone has an anon piece of advice or a step they think works I'm open to reading it i guess.
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Look at what your doing. Your getting up to go to work every day. The way your doing this while you are dealing with your feelings is amazing. You are strong but you are not seeing it right now. You are brilliant and have done this so far. Keep going because you are amazing.
ReplyIs there anything that makes you feel more alive? Not necessarily like skydiving etc but when you finish this thing that challenges you and you're willing to almost do any task no matter how boring afterwards. I used to feel that way when I finished work that I was proud of for school. I realise that its pretty BS, feeling so accoplished about this piece of work that only one other person in the world is ever going to see before being buried under a stack of whatever. But that feeling was enviable. I don't get it anymore but all I want to do is get it back. I hope you find it too.
ReplyLive your life to the fullest. Maybe you can do something that you love and you will have a better life satisfaction. Appreciate your time and by having a mindset that going through each day with nothing why not you see it positively there must be something that makes you happy happy eventually.
ReplyOmg I know what you mean, sometimes I get into a funk and everything, even ppl being nice to me aggravates me and I wanna rip their eyes out! I try to put on a "happy face" but then I have to get away from everyone before I say or do something I will regret! For me I find myself getting in and out of that funk, what helps is isolating myself for a bit and watching comedy movies or tv shows. Definitely staying away from negativity (if possible) and treating myself to something I like, usually something sweet š
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