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I’m 20 and I've been suffering from depression for over a year now. I have days where everything feels ok, and then others where i simply want to fade away. My depression came during a time where I was bullied by my best friends. I am no longer friends with these people, but it hurts me seeing how happy they are because they get to just live their lives and I have to live with this. an emptiness, no self worth I'm completely lost in myself. I look at my arms some of the old scars have faded but there still there i can't help feeling if this is what the pain will be there faded but still there. I feel embarrassed because other people have it a lot worse, I just don't know what to do anymore because despite whether I have things i should look forward to, an amazing family and the best friends (unlike before) that I could ask for, I'm miserable. I dropped out of uni because of my depression, I have no goals or aspirations Id rather just spend my time in my room sleeping through the day. I hear voices that tell me to and ways of killing myself, I want to give In but I know that it would destroy my family, so where does that leave me? I don’t want to be alive but I’m too scared to die and leave everyone behind?
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The scars you may have are nothing compared to the scar you leave with suicide.
ReplyTry to find happiness in helping others. When I cant help myself, I find a little happiness in trying to better the lives of people close to me that I know are struggling too. Dont live just because you dont want your family to hurt, live because you want to make their lives better. You have gifts to give. We cant let our depression stop us from being someone elses light. Live for the little things.
ReplyDon't give in.
The world won't stop spinning and they'll be more chances. Your life can turn around. You can keep going on! I believe in you. :)
ReplyHi
I know the feels bruv. But imma gonna say it how i told myself to get out of that dark place.
Get up go boxing, fitness, ... get in shape why? you may ask. This is the best way to break that mental wall. Sport and get your frustrations out on the punchbag or in the gym. Once you break that first wall, the others will follow. It's what i did, it's what worked for me. If you don't try it, you never know what's on the other side off the wall.
But i know what is. Once you break the first, 3 others will follow untill you reach the fourth being the biggest and the f*cking hardest. You'll think f*ck was it all for nothing untill you'll learn this time i don't need to break it i go arround it and leave it, so it can protect me from negative thoughts.
And then my friend i can't promise it will always be sunshine and rainbows, but I know you'll have enough experience to face the storm. cause above every cloud the sun shines!
wish you the best brother (or sister :))
Peace.
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