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There is a boy who I love more thank anything. Liam is his name. He's someone who is probably one of the most amazing people I know. He loves me more than life itself though I have hurt him an uncountable number of times. Yet as hurt as he is, he stays? The reason? Love. He loves me. We have good times. But lately it's been more bad than good. There is a heavy weight of the world on my shoulders that I insist on carrying by myself. Yet he's there lending a hand anyway. Before him I was alone. Alone for so long I found comfort in it. I shut people who were good for me out so that they would never even get the chance to hurt me. I loved myself. But somewhere along the lines Liam joined my journey, and all of a sudden I wasn't just in love with myself. But him. I thought I was never going to be capable of loving another romantically. But there he was. I had to learn how to love someone, how to be good to them. It's been a very long process, which I still am going through quite honestly. He's proven himself and his love many times. I know for a fact he will not hurt me. But sadly, I cant say the same. I don't know why, but I keep pushing him away. A habit. I try but it's hard to love someone and it's hard when you love them but can't help but push them away. .Breaking them breaks me. He is the gentlest person I know, and even his flaws are innocent. I hate myself for hurting him over and over again. So I have asked for a break. Space. To remember the pain of being alone. I was alone and comfortable but I was in pain. I grew to like that empty burning feeling. But it was pain nonetheless. I'm confident to say I can grow. We will be okay. I just need to grow. Remember the pain so I won't take him for granted.
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