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I'm a teenager. I've been stuck in the awkward stage for a long time now. At least I hope its a stage. Sometimes I wonder if im ever gonna get out of it. I'm currently 15 and a girl. Im not sure when girls completely stop growing.
I don't know what happened! When I was little I was so pretty. Well, that was what other people told me. Random people would stop whatever they were doing just you tell me how pretty I was. Apparently the kids I went to school with thought so too. When I was little I always thought I looked funny. It kind of surprised me that others thought I was cute. I never looked like any of the other little girls. I sickly pale yellowish skin ( I had an iron deficiency), long thin dark brown hair, a wide nose, and my facial features generally weren't set up like the other kids. I looked too different.
Then I turned 11. My face didn't change much. My face got slightly longer, I still had chubby cheeks, and my nose got really tall and straight. I started getting acne,but it was never severe. I had blackheads a pimple here and there every few days and my hair got thick and wavy/curly.
All the compliments just stopped coming. I'd probably be fine if that was it, but it isn't. A lot of kids in my school started making fun of me. They started telling me and that I looked disgusting.
It all started with this one girl. I had no idea why, But she decided that she didn't like me. She didn't seem to hate me before. We only talked a few times and we had many encounters because she was in a couple of my classes. I was so nice to her. I don't know why she was so mean to me.
She just so happened to friends with the popular girls. She would talk about me while in her group. It eventually became a sort of inside joke to all them to make fun of my appearance. Their opinions began to seep their way into the minds of the other students. After a while, a lot, but not all of the students, started glaring at me. They also started talking about the way I looker. The kids seemed to act like I was a leper, kids that sat next to me stared at me with this grossed out expression. I was never treated so horribly in my life before. No even knew my name. " Oh look it's that weird lookin' kid. I think her Name starts with a E or I or something like that." Still they made fun of me.
The next year rolled around and it was like nothing ever happened. Everyone started treating me normal. I've even been complimented a few times.
The last. experience I had with that girl was a few months ago. I was walking in the hallway alone. The hallways were empty and quiet. Then I felt someone bury their nails in my shoulder. I looked behind me and it was her. She then walked next to me and pushed me. I didn't care at that time because I was happy I was getting off of school early. That girl started speed walking away, looked at me and rolled her eyes.
It really could have been worse. I have a friend that starting this year, regularly gets bullied. She had a boy come up to her, threaten to shoot up the school, and kill her first. Being at school is a strange experience. A week ago I saw a kid with a plastic bag on his head, walking to the nurse and coughing. Their is definitely something wrong with the kids at my highschool.
I don't know what's going to happen to my face. Hopefully I continue lose my baby fat, because my cheeks don't match with the rest of my face. They look really puffy and my chin is more sharp and my forehead is narrow, or at least to narrow yo fit my face. My skin has been looking a lot better. My nose isn't as wide looking as it was when I was little. Its still a little wide at the end. If that doesn't end up fitting my face. I guess I could have surgery to fix it. My nose is tall but it isn't too tall in my opinion and I don't have a bump or at least I haven't noticed one. Its just the wideness.
I don't know. Im just going to have to wait to see what happens.
Some people tell me that I have too much of an obsession with the way I look. Do you think I have a problem.
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ReplyRelax, You're still going through puberty. Give yourself time. Beauty is temporary and you need to make sure that your heart is beautiful inside as well as out.
ReplyI had pretty much the same experience as you did, but I was in elementary school when all of the other girls decided I was weird. Every once in awhile they would let me into the inner circle and I would be one of them, but most of the time I was the outcast. I remember always being alone at recess, always being the last one picked in gym class. That was 40 years ago. Some things never change I guess. I know it feels like it means everything to you right now, but trust me, this will pass. That girl who was mean to you who you saw in the hallways - I bet someone was really mean to her too once, and she's just making a bad choice about how to deal with her own pain.
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