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I cut deeper than usual yesterday, then panicked and asked a friend for help. The wrong friend. Usually I ask my girlfriend for help, but she was in class, and I was already texting the other friend. She and another friend ran over and found me hyperventilating. The bleeding had stopped, but I was still freaked out. I wanted my girlfriend.
Instead, they calmed me down, got me settled into bed, and then got the RA. The fucking RA! The RA got the RD, who got her boss, and then before I knew what was happening, the police were standing in my room asking if i was suicidal. I'm not fucking suicidal. They put me on a stretcher and took me to the hospital. I was fine. It wasn't even still bleeding. But I got to spend 4 hours in the ER because I apparently couldn't trust my friend.
My whole family knows I started cutting again now, and the school has it on record. Fucking everyone knows thanks to those idiots. My PCP, my RA, some of my professors. The Dean of Students emailed me today wanting to set up a meeting. I can't even imagine if they did this every time a college kid cut themselves. They'd run out of ambulances. My parents have to pay the medical bill, and it was a total waste of time. They made sure I didn't have an infection, then had some guy tell me I need therapy. As if I didn't already know that? Now I have to retake a bio test and do all this shit before break. Thanks for the added stress. Everything my friends did was the opposite of helping.
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ReplyI know you're mad and you think they did the wrong thing.. but they just show you that they care about you. I was mad when my friend called the police on me but I realized it was for the best. I got the help i needed and got better. Next time you feel like cutting, draw on yourself, write down every problem going through your head and rip the sheet of paper up. You probably don't to hear this... well read this but I just wanna help
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