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When You're About to Give Up... Read This

By Novni Community Member

Everyone wants to quit at one point or another. For me, I've wanted to quit countless times. After being kicked out, losing my car, my phone, being homeless, date rapped, used, abused, and thrown away like trash I wished more than anything I could just be with everyone I loved in heaven.

Who was I even on this earth for anyway, right? What's the point really. I'm causing more pain to others. I'm nothing but a problem. They call suicide a selfish act when really you're only thinking about everyone you'd be helping if you were gone.

I've been there, more than once. I've been thrown into a mental institution for my depression. I used to smoke so much weed to numb the pain of everything sad or hurtful. Then, I thought about what I wanted and why I didn't have it already.

Love.

All I've ever wanted was to be loved and wanted. The kind of love where you look into that person's eyes and everything just made sense. No matter what was going on, no matter who was around, when you looked at them you felt everything you were ever missing.

The kind of love where you crave each other, passionately, intensely, crave each others being. That heart racing love that leaves butterflies in your stomach and a cloud in your head. The love where you can't help but smile at the thought of their smile, or where you miss their laugh when you aren't together.

Love should be easy. Falling in love should be the most effortless act you ever put forth. It's like a river flowing into the sea, like a leaf flowing to the ground, for a boy to meet a girl and feel fireworks. Somethings, are meant to be. The answers will be in their eyes. The solutions are in their hugs.

I had given up on love once because I did not see the love for what it was. Since then I vowed with God as my witness I would not abuse love when he blesses me with it. I would carry it out until it dies and until I die.

So don't give up. Everything you're missing can be found, but is not possible if you're 6 feet deep.

"The moment you're ready to quit is usually the moment right before the miracle happens."

Need Advice, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, +4

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Novni Community Member

This piece was contributed anonymously by a member of the Novni community.


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